


End My Misery

by PJTL156



Category: CSI: NY
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:41:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PJTL156/pseuds/PJTL156
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drunken Stella makes a move on Mac, but being a gentleman, he declines. Before they get a chance to talk the next morning they're held hostage in the lab. Will everyone make it out alive? Can they find a missing boy before it's too late? SMacked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Innocent?

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with CSI:NY.

Mac Taylor sits in his office wishing for some more excitement in his life.  _Any excitement, really._ Mac frowns.  _I need a woman_. His brain automatically turning to his best friend, and partner against crime.  _Stella._ He quickly pushes the thought out of his mind.  _She probably doesn't even feel that way about me._ Mac sighs.

He had known her for more than a decade now. She was the one person he could fully trust and tell anything to. Whenever he was having a bad day she was there to comfort him. Even if he just needed to vent about something; she had open ears.

He wanted more than a friendship with Stella. The problem was he had never told her how much she meant to him.  _Probably never will._  Mac stretches, then finishes up his first file. It's getting late and he should go home, but he won't. His work is his life. There was nothing to go home to anyway.

Besides, home wasn't what it used to be. That's not just because he had moved a few weeks earlier. He had lost his wife, Claire, close to a decade ago. When she was alive he couldn't wait to get his work done so he could see his loving wife. She meant everything to him. On September 11th 2001 his zest for life died along with Claire.  _Claire, what do I do? You would want me to move on. Should I just tell her how I feel?_ Mac shakes his head.  _No, that's probably not a very good idea._ He sighs and starts on another file not realizing a beautiful, curly haired woman walking towards his office.

He instinctually jumps as a file falls to his desk and makes a loud 'thud'. His eyes shoot up to look at the source of the noise.

"Oh, sorry. Did I scare you?" Stella says with a frown.

"Yeah, a little." Mac admits.

Stella stands there for a few moments staring into Mac's eyes. Mac stares back.

"Can I help you?" He says in amusement; a smile starting to creep onto his face.

Stella sighs and Mac's smile fades.

"Do you realize it's 9 o'clock?" She asks.

He shifts slightly in his chair.  _Where's she going with this?_  He wonders.

"I do now." A man of few words.

Stella crosses her arms and takes a deep breath.  _Here goes nothing,_ she thinks. "Some of us are going to the bar. You wanna come?"

Mac looks into her eyes and sees anticipation and something else.  _Sadness?_  His heart drops.

"I-"

She puts her hand up and he stops what he was going to say. "Mac, your paperwork will be here for you tomorrow. You need to get out and have some fun. When's the last time you went out with us?"

There was a slight pause.

"How did you know I was going to say I have paperwork to do?" He asks with a small smile.

"Because I can read your mind." With this, Stella shoots him her own smile.

Mac grunts as he looks down at the stack of papers on his desk.

"It'll be here tomorrow." Stella says.

Mac just sits there.

"Well?" Stella obviously waiting for an answer.

Mac surprises her. "Okay. Just let me grab my coat."

_What? Really?_  Stella couldn't believe her ears.  _Did I hear him right?_

Mac see's complete shock on his friend's face and chuckles.

"What? You didn't think I'd go?"

"Honestly? No."

"I thought you could read my mind?" He says with a wink.

All Stella could say was, "Funny." A smile growing on her face.

XXOXX

Mac grabs his coat and suspects his office. The neat-freak in him quickly straightens his papers. He's surprised to hear a laugh. He gives Stella a weird look.

"What?"

Stella just shakes her head.

"Does  _everything_  in your life have to be perfect?"  _Yes, you're perfect,_  Mac thought.  _Oh no, I didn't say that out loud did I?_

Impatience was the only thing Mac saw in Stella's eyes, so he deducted that he didn't.  _Wheh, that would have been bad._

She stands there with a smile on her face as he puts his coat on. He looks over at her. "Ready?" Stella asks. He just nods, looks back at his mound of paperwork, and shuts his light off.  _It'll be here tomorrow,_ he tells himself.

They walk out towards the elevator and Mac puts his arm around her shoulder in a friendly manner. They both smile.  _This couldn't be more than just a friendly gesture, could it?_ Her smile becomes wider at the thought of Mac flirting with her.  _It's about time._  Without thinking, his feelings get the better of him. He starts to gently rub her shoulder and in doing so, couldn't help but want more. There had been chemistry between them for years, but he was too afraid to act upon it.  _I can't do this. I can't lose her. Her friendship means so much to me._

With that he squeezes her shoulder and lets his arm fall to his side. When he does this Stella's smile fades into a small frown.  _Why'd he stop? Does he even have feelings for me? Am I just imagining it because_ I _have feelings for_ him _?_

Mac saw her expression change, but before he could say anything Danny walks up.

"Hey, Mac, I didn't think she'd talk you into it." Danny says and winks. "Hawkes and Sid already left. Adam can't come; says he's got a hot date."

Stella and Danny laugh while Mac rolls his eyes.

Lindsay walks out and looks at Mac with amusement.

"Hey, Mac. I didn't think she'd talk you into it." Mac and Stella give each other a look and laugh. "What? What'd I say?" Lindsay completely oblivious to what's going on.

Mac says, "You're husband just said the same exact thing."

"He must be rubbing off on you." Stella winks.

"Oh." Lindsay says sheepishly.

Danny puts his arm around Lindsay's waist and kisses her cheek.

"That's my girl!" Danny says proud.

Lindsay just rolls her eyes. "You guys ready to go?" Mac and Stella both nod their heads.


	2. Drunken Confessions

Mac and Stella get in Mac's Avalanche, Danny and Lindsay get in Danny's Tahoe.

After driving for a few blocks the two men park at O'Malley's Bar.

It's a nice little bar with stain [glass windows](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/2/End_My_Misery), old brick exterior, and a glowing green sign that reads, "O'Malley's Bar." On the inside there are two TV's, multiple booths, and everything was either green or brown. Adam had suggested it once a few months ago and it quickly became their new hangout. Not the glitziest bar in the world, but they have great beer and a nice atmosphere.

Sid and Hawkes were already sitting in a large booth in the back overlooking the entire room. Sid waves as the four team members walk in. Stella waves back and they all head over.

They had choose a rounded booth, so Sid and Hawkes slide to the end, Danny and Lindsay sit with their backs toward the window, and Stella and Mac sit across from them. The waitress wanders over and asks for their drink orders. They all order beers except for Lindsay.

"I'll just have an iced tea. No lemon."

Everyone except for Danny gives her an inquisitive look. Mac raises his eyebrow.

"Is there something you'd like to tell us?" Mac asks with a slight smile.

"Well…we didn't want to tell you guys just yet, but I guess we have no choice now." Lindsay says as she looks at Danny. He gives her a nod and takes her hand in his. Lindsay takes a deep breath.

"We're going to have another baby." Lindsay says this with a huge grin plastered to her face.  _I hope they're as excited as we are,_  Lindsay thinks.

"Congratulations you two. Double trouble, huh?" Hawkes winks.

"Congrats." Sid and Mac say at the same time.

"Yeah, congrats. When are you due?" Stella asks. Of course only a woman would think to ask something so important.

"Around April 3rd. At least that's what my [doctor](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/2/End_My_Misery) says." Lindsay looks over at Danny.

"We actually just found out a few days ago for sure." Danny says.

"Just promise you won't tell Jess or Don yet, they got enough on their plate already."

The group nods their heads in unison and gets on with the night. They shared old stories and a lot of laughs.

Before they knew it, it was time to go.

The Messer's had to get home to Lucy. The baby sitter probably furious for staying out so late on a school night. It was a Tuesday. The girl has school in the morning.

Sid decides it's a night for him, and Hawkes walks him outside.

Now it is only Mac and Stella.

Mac finishing his third beer, Stella her fifth.

"Hey Mac?" She asks, inebriated.

"Yeah?"

"Will you ever play your guitar for me?"Her voice slurred and her posture lax.  _Poor Stell. Can't even sit straight anymore let alone talk._

"Sure."

"I'd like that." Stella says truthfully. A fierce smile creeps onto her face.

Before Mac could even think Stella leans over to kiss him.  _Uh oh._ Quickly, he turns and her lips touch his cheek. She pouts but doesn't say anything. Mac blushes slightly.

"It's getting late. I'd better take you home."

Stella looks confused.

"What?" Mac says.

"You're taking me home?" Confusion drips off from her words. Mac clears his throat. "That's not what I meant. I'm dropping you off. I'm not staying."

Stella frowns, but says "Okay."

He stands up and offers her his hand. She takes it and stands up, but falls backwards into the booth.

"Woops!" Stella says and laughs. Mac's face stays stone cold, which makes Stella laugh harder.

"Come on, Stella." Mac pulls her up and she puts her left arm around his shoulders. He supports her with his own arm and walks her out into the brisk night.

A few minutes later she stumbles towards his car, trips over a bump in the sidewalk, and sends them both onto the concrete. Stella lands on top of him, laughing hysterically.

"If I wasn't so drunk and you weren't so soft, that would've hurt!"

Mac's head automatically drifts to inappropriate places.  _Yeah, but I'm not that soft._ He quickly pushes all of those thoughts out of his head. It's hard for a man not to be turned on when a beautiful woman is lying on top of him.

They finally get to his truck and he opens the passenger door. He half pushes her into the seat to make sure she doesn't fall back onto him. Again.

He shuts her door and heads for his own. The engine starts and he puts on his seatbelt before looking over at Stella.

"Damn thing won't work!" Stella yells. Mac chuckles.

"That's because you're trying to put it in backwards." He leans over and moves Stella's hands into her lap, then grabs the seatbelt. Within two seconds the belt clicks.

"There." Mac says.

"Hmph." She pouts and looks over at Mac. He sticks his tongue out at her.

"That's real mature."

"Ditto." Mac throws back.

They get to Stella's apartment complex and she starts to unhook her seatbelt.

"Whoa, wait a minute. Don't get out yet. You'll probably do a face-plant and break your nose."

"Thanks for the confidence, Mac. I'm fine." She opens up her door and Mac quickly moves to her side. Sure enough she loses her balance and falls into Mac's arms. Gladly he's expecting this, so he braces himself. She's held in Mac's arms in a sort-of hug. The moment lasts a little longer than appropriate before he sits her down on her wobbly feet. "You okay?" Mac asks.

"Yeah, I'm fine. My knight in shining armor saved me." She smiles. Mac blushes and turns away.

"Okay, let's get you to bed." Mac decides not to look at Stella after saying this.  _I don't even want to see the look on her face now._

He has to half carry Stella up the stairs she's so tipsy.

"I think you had a few too many." Mac accuses.

"I think  _you_  had too many." She counters with her own drunken logic.

They get push through the doors and head for the elevator.

"11th floor." Stella says.

"I know where you live, Stella." She gasps and looks at him shocked.

"How do you know where I live?" Almost yelling.

"Shh," Mac hushes her, "I've been here before, remember?" Mac says trying to keep her from freaking out for no reason.

"Oh," is all she can muster. Then out of nowhere she starts to laugh uncontrollably. "What?" Mac asks slightly annoyed. Stella just looks at him with bloodshot eyes. "What?" She mimics.

"Wow, you are drunk." Mac says quietly to himself.

After what seemed like forever, they reach the 11th floor.

"Here we are." Mac says almost to himself. "Where are your keys?"

Stella smiles, grabs her keys from her purse, and holds them above her head.

"I am not going to play keep-away with you, Stella. Give me the keys." He puts out his hand waiting for the keys.

"No."

"You sound like a child. Give me the keys."

"No."

"Fine." With this he grabs the keys from her hand and unlocks her door. Stella just frowns and puts her finger on his chest.

"You're no fun." Mac huffs.

They walk into Stella's apartment; Mac still holding onto her.

All of a sudden Stella's face turns green. In the blink of an eye she's in her bathroom throwing up in the toilet.  _It's amazing what your body can still do when you're drunk._

He walks up to her and holds her hair back. She starts to stand up, and loses her balance for the third time. His hands grab her waist and hoist her up. After this he hands her mouthwash. She gurgles and spits it out.

"I'm sorry." She looks at the floor.

"It's okay." He rubs her back and she smiles at him.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it. That's what friends do." She looks in his eyes and he can finally see the real Stella coming back to him.

Without notice her hands float up towards his face. Before her lips can meet his, he turns his head.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Stella growls.

"Because…" Mac tries to get the words out of his mouth, "I want our first kiss to be special, and for you to remember it."  _God I hope she doesn't remember me saying that._ She just smiles and kisses his cheek. Then, without warning, turns and heads towards her bedroom. Mac follows her.

A heel flies towards his face and he ducks. He gasps as the other one does the same thing. This time he catches it.

"What the hell are you trying to do? Behead me?"

"No, I was throwing them towards my closet." Stella answers in a casual tone.

"You're crazy." His head shaking back and forth.

"For you." Stella's voice in a sexy growl. Both of their faces turn crimson red.  _Did she really just say that?_ Mac thinks as his heart races.

"Stay with me." Stella pleads.

"I-I can't." Mac manages to say.

Stella just frowns and slips into her bed. The sheets now covering her still clothed body. "Goodnight Mac." Stella says while in a yawn.

He whispers, "Goodnight Stella," as he kisses her forehead. Before he leaves he tucks stray strands of hair behind her ear. As he does this she smiles and a small moan escapes her lips.  _Oh, Stella. You have no idea what you do to me._

He locks her door behind him and heads into the night.  _Actually early morning._ His clock reads one o'clock.

Mac gets into his car and heads home. He can't help but smile _. I wonder what tomorrow has in store for us_.

If Mac knew what was going to happen the next day, he wouldn't be smiling.


	3. Bad Omens

Stella wakes up with bells going off.

"Ugh." She puts her head in her hands.

"What the hell?" She drawls.

Stella lays there for a few moments; her mind can't comprehend what the noise is. Her brain still on autopilot from the night before. It finally hits her. The sound is her alarm telling her it's time to get up. Her arm flies over and nails her snooze button.

"Finally!" She exclaims. As she sits up in bed, her head spins. A pounding [headache](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/3/End_My_Misery) starts. The hangover begins.

"Six already? You  _have_  to be kidding me."

Sunshine usually fills her [bedroom](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/3/End_My_Misery) in the mornings, but this morning it wasn't. She glances out her window and sees it's raining.  _If I believed in rainy days bringing misfortune I'd call in sick._  Too bad she doesn't.

Blankets are thrown off to the side as she jumps out of bed.  _Damn,_  she thinks as her head pounds in sync with her heartbeat.  _Should've stayed in bed._  Of course she isn't listening to the nagging feeling in the back of her brain; the one telling her the day will get a whole lot worse before it gets better.

She takes a quick shower and gets cleaned up before she checks her [cell phone](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/3/End_My_Misery). The screen reads  _'One New Message.'_  She checks it.

' _Stella, we need to talk about last night. Don't worry, nothing bad. See you in the morning. We'll talk after we discuss the new case.'_  It was from Mac. Her phone received it at 1:35 a.m.  _Oh, great. What did I do last night? I barely remember anything._ The hazy night flashes through her head. She remembers going to O'Malley's with Mac, Lindsay saying they were pregnant, throwing back a few beers, then throwing up said beers in her toilet. Then her mind remembers Mac whispering 'goodnight.'

"Did he kiss my forehead?" Stella smiles a wide smile.

She glances at the time and realizes she's running late.

"Great…" Her mind starts to wander.  _What were you doing up at one in the morning, Mac?_   _Don't you ever sleep? I swear sometimes you're secretly a vampire._  Stella laughs to herself.

"Well, the man  _never_  seems to eat or sleep. It fits."

She grabs a banana nut muffin and a cup of coffee before she runs out the door. While on her way to the lab she has to slam on her breaks; her coffee spilling on her cars interior.

"Son of a bitch!" Stella screams as a car cuts her off. There's no real point in yelling, but it makes her feel better.

The driver can't hear her anyway. He has his more important things on his mind. Things Stella will learn about later.

She memorizes the license plate, not because she is going to turn him in, but because it's unique.

"DOCTOR D? What kind of plate is that?" _Obviously a doctor of some kind._

Stella huffs as she pulls into the lab parking lot.

"I hope the rest of my day goes better than this."

XXOXX

Mac wakes up with a small headache, but nothing like Stella's would be half an hour later. His clock reads five-thirty. He groans and slowly gets out of bed.

As he meanders over to his bathroom to shower and shave he sees it's raining.  _Just what we need; more rain. This day is probably going to be bad enough. I already have to talk to Stella about what happened last night, and I don't even know what she remembers._ Mac moans. _It's going to be awkward and embarrassing, for her and me. How do I tell her that she tried to kiss me several times last night?_  No matter what ideas go through Mac's mind on how to tell Stella, none of them seem right. He was the kind of man that needed a plan; Mac never just wings it.

He finishes shaving and showering, then heads into his kitchen. Cereal doesn't sound very appetizing, but it's the only thing he has. Breakfast was usually dismissed, but Mac can't help but have a nagging feeling he'll need his strength today.

As he opens up his cupboard his favorite cup comes crashing down. It shatters into pieces all over Mac's kitchen floor.

"Damn it!"

He grabs a broom from his closet and sweeps it up.  _This had better be the only thing that goes wrong today._  Of course that wouldn't be the case. Mac's day would turn out much like Stella's.

The broken cup was just the start. Mac has to open up several cupboards until he finds the cereal. Even after a few weeks he can't find anything. Then again, he's Mac Taylor. The only time he is ever at his apartment is to sleep, eat, and shower. His life revolves around his job as everyone knows.

He reads last night's paper as he eats, and drinks his coffee. After finishing his breakfast he grabs a second cup of coffee and goes out the door. His Avalanche is waiting for him.

The ride to the office was quick for New York City. That's the main reason why Mac had moved. That and he felt it was time to start over. Why he felt that way, he had no idea. Another one of those nagging feelings he couldn't shake.

He parks in his spot and heads inside. Just as he's walking into the elevator a woman runs into him; his coffee spilling onto his shirt.  _Damn it!_  The stain is about the size of his fist, so it's very noticeable. The woman keeps walking.

"You could at least say you're sorry." Mac says to himself.

He gets to the thirty-fifth floor of the lab and continues to cuss inwardly.

Adam walks past Mac.

"Happy Wednesday Mac!" Obviously he doesn't notice the coffee stain on Mac's dress shirt. Typical Adam.

A grunt escapes his mouth.  _Sure it is Adam._

Gladly he has an extra shirt in his office for occasions like this.  _Always be prepared._ He learned this as a child, used it in the Marines, and still used it today. Mac is always prepared. Or so he likes to think.

He walks into his office and turns on the lights. His clock says it's 8 a.m.  _Stella should be in by now._  He groans.  _I am_ not _looking forward to this talk. I don't even have a clue what to say, or even how to start._  Mac stops his thought. _Why am I nervous? It's just Stella._

Just as he thinks this he sees Stella walking by talking to Flack.  _Everything must be alright with Angell if Don's in today._

Mac sits down at his desk to work and realizes he forgot something.  _I still didn't change my shirt? I need to stop thinking so much. Stella would say my mind's racing again._

He hangs up his jacket and takes off his dress shirt. Some coffee got onto his undershirt, but he doesn't worry about it. As long as he doesn't look like a slob at the office.

His back is turned to his door as he redresses. Mac doesn't hear the man approach him. Cold steel is shoved into his head before he can even react. He freezes.  _Uh oh. This isn't good._

XXOXX

Stella gets off the elevator and sees Flack approaching her.

"Morning Stell." Don's smile was electric.

They continue to walk. Stella has to pick up a file and discuss it with Mac.

"Good morning Don. How's Jess doing?"

"Great. The baby's doing fine. Only a few more days and I'll be a daddy." His smile growing wider at the thought of being a father.

"That's good. I'm so happy for you two. Who would have thought you and Jess would be excited for parenthood?"

"I know. I'm surprised, too. That little guy is going to be the best thing in our lives, I already know it." Fatherhood is going to be good for Flack.

"I'm sure he will be." Stella smiles. "Give my best to Jess, okay?"

"Sure thing. Thanks Stell." With that Don hurries off; excited to tell anyone and everyone he's going to be a daddy soon.

Stella takes the file from one of the lab rats and scans it. A robbery gone bad. They already have a suspect in custody.  _Probably an open and shut case._  She shakes her head. _With my luck, probably not. When are they ever open and shut?_  Stella is right. Nothing in life is that simple.

She rounds the corner and heads towards Mac's office, her short heels clicking against the hard floor. Her eyes are still looking at the case file.

"Hey, Mac, I think I figured something o-" Her words evaporate into the air when she realizes what's happening. "Oh my God."

Mac is standing behind his desk frozen; a .38-caliber pistol pointing at his head.


	4. DOCTOR D

The entire world stopped in that instant. Stella's mind was racing and Mac's was blank. Neither of them knew what to do. Panic told a hold of them and squeezed. All of their training and knowledge flew out the window when they realized what was going on. They couldn't move. The silence was broken by the man holding the gun.

"Miss Bonasera, would you join us please? Shut the door behind you. I wouldn't want anyone to get suspicious. You have work to do." The man's voice was calm, yet evil. The words cut Stella like a knife.

She did as she was told.

"What's going on? Why do you have a gun to my head?" Mac asks, his anger starting to boil.

"Don't be rude Detective. I'm your guest." With these words he pistol whips Mac. His body falls to the floor in a heap. Before Stella could think she rushes over to him.

"Mac? Are you okay?"

He doesn't answer. The blow was so [strong](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/4/End_My_Misery) he is now unconscious. Stella cradles his head in her hands. Gently, she rubs his forehead; not only to sooth him, but to sooth herself. It had been a long time since she'd been in a situation like this one. She needed him awake.

"Isn't that cute?" The man says sarcastically, "You care about him. I'm glad you have someone in your life Detective Bonasera, because I have no one. That's why I'm here now. Wake him up. You have a job to do, and I suggest you do it  _now_." His words frighten Stella.  _A man with nothing to lose and everything to gain. Then again, what is he trying to gain?_ She gingerly smacks his face.  _Mac, please wake up. I need you._

As if on cue, Mac starts to come back to reality. He moans.

"Ugh. What's going on? Stella?" His mind in a daze.

"Yeah, it's me. We've been taken hostage. I don't know what this guy wants and I could really use some help." She whispers this so their hostage taker wouldn't hear.

"Are you okay?" Mac asks her concerned.

Stella can't help but be touched by his concern.  _You get hit in the back of the head with a pistol and you ask if_ I'm  _okay? I wish I could kiss you right now Mac Taylor, but this isn't the time or the place._

"Yeah, I'm fine. The question is, are you?"

"Just a little dizzy. I can manage." He touches the back of his head and winces. His hand moves in front of his eyes.  _No blood, that's good._

Stella helps him up; the room seems to spin.

"Whoa, you okay?" She braces him so he doesn't fall.

"Yeah, but the room's spinning."

"Are you two done? Did you forget why you're here?" The man is getting impatient.

They just give him a dirty look.

"Yeah, we're done. What do you want? Why are we here?" Mac demands.

"Because, you two are going to figure out who took my son."

"And how are we going to do that?" Stella asks with her arms crossed.

"You, my dear, are going to go out there," He points to the lab, "and find out who kidnapped my son. His name is Timothy Darbrook Jr. Get his case file and come back in here. Don't tell  _anyone_  what's going on, do you understand?"

Stella nods her head 'yes.'

"Okay, get the file and come back. Don't take too long, or your  _boyfriend_  here will get his brains blown out."

Mac and Stella look into each other's eyes. They think the same thing:  _I'm sorry._

She walks outside Mac's office and shuts the door behind her.  _I don't want to leave Mac in there alone with him, but I have no other choice. If I don't do what he says he'll kill him. I don't think I could live without Mac._  Tears start to well in her eyes. Stella was a strong woman who hated to show weakness, but this time she couldn't help it. The man she cares about more than anything has a gun pointed to his head.

Flack walks by her and turns around.

"Stella? You okay?"

"Shh." Stella motions for Flack to follow her into a room.

She shuts the door and Don looks at her concerned.

"What's going on?"

"I need you to find information on Timothy Darbrook Jr. He's missing. His dad is more than likely Timothy Sr. Use one of the computers. I'll look up the case for Junior."

Flack gives Stella a funny look, but does as he's asked.

A little while later Flack says, "Dr. Timothy Randall Darbrook. He's thirty-eight years old. One daughter named Bethany, she's ten. A seventeen year old son named Timothy Jr. He's missing. Has been for three weeks. Wife Mandy died on 9/11. Oh, and random fact, everyone calls him Dr. D. Don't ask how I know that."

Stella freezes.

"Stell? You okay?"

"Doctor D?"

"Yeah, why? What's up?"

"What's his license plate?"

Flack types something into computer database.

"DOCTOR D. That's creative." Don says sarcastically.

"Oh my God." Stella slumps to the floor.

"Stella! You alright?" Don squats next to her.

"That bastard! I followed him here this morning. If I would have called him in Mac wouldn't be in trouble right now. He wouldn't have a  _gun_  to his head!" A few tears slide down her cheek to the floor. A small pool is formed.

Flack's eyes turn to saucers.

"WHAT! Mac's in trouble? Stella, talk to me. What's going on? Tell me everything."

Stella tells him what she can between sobs. Her tears now a waterfall.

"Hey! Listen to me.  _It's not your fault._  Mac will be fine. He always has. We have to solve this case and get him out of there. Don't beat yourself up. You couldn't have known."

Stella sits there for a few seconds, then stands up. She wipes the tears from her eyes and looks at Don defiantly. Her strong nature coming back.

"You're right, Flack. We gotta get back to work and find this kid."

"That's the spirit." Flack gives her a strained smile. He's just as worried as she is, but he has to be strong for Stella. Unlike him, she still has to go back in there.

Stella starts to walk toward Mac's office.  _I don't think I can ever look at this room the same way again._  She tries to calm herself, but she can't. Her mind is racing.  _How the hell did he get in here with a gun anyway? Security should have confiscated it._  She shakes her head.  _I shouldn't be worrying about that right now. I have much greater things to worry about._

XXOXX

She walks into the room with her head held high.

"I got the information you wanted." She hands the papers over to him. "You need a detective on the outside. I suggest Don Flack. He already helped me find the information on your son." Stella didn't include that Flack already knew.

"Does he already know I'm in here?"

"No."

The man studies her eyes and can't see any deception. Gladly Stella has put on a good poker face.

"Okay, you can call and tell him what's going on after you look over the files with us. If we need anything done outside of this room he'll be the one to do it."

Mac and Stella nod their heads in unison.

The man looks over the file. Tears come to his eyes when he sees his son's picture. He tries to hide them from the other two, but they see. Mac and Stella glance at each other.  _At least he has a heart,_ Mac thinks.

"If you tell us about yourself and your son it would save us some time." Mac says.

The man pauses, but does what Mac asks of him.

"My name is Timothy Darbrook. I'm an E.R. doctor. My patients call me Doctor D. My son's name is Timothy Jr. He's seventeen years old. He went missing three weeks ago. I told the local police, but they did nothing. Just gave me the runaround. They accused my son of being some run away druggie. My son isn't that kind of kid. He's smart, funny, athletic; everything you'd want in a son. When he didn't come home that night my heart shattered. My kids mean everything to me. Since my wife died…" Timothy was on the brink of crying.

"'Kids'?" Mac asks.

Timothy sniffs. "Yeah, I have a daughter named Bethany. She's ten. We're pretty close, but not as close as Tim and I. She doesn't even remember her mother." Timothy looks up at Mac and Stella who are standing next to each other. "My wife Mandy died on 9/11. Beth was only a baby, so she has no memory of her mom." Now Timothy has tears streaming down his face.

Mac gulps. His world seemed to be caving in on him.  _He lost his wife on 9/11 too?_   _I know exactly how he feels. Except I didn't have to raise children on my own. Gladly._

If Timothy didn't still have a gun in his hand Mac would have patted his back and comforted him.

"I know how you feel Dr. Darbrook. I, too, lost my wife on 9/11. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her." Mac is being honest. He still thinks about Claire all the time. When her death was recent, the thoughts were of sadness and anger; now they were mostly of the good memories they had shared. The sadness still came, though. Most of his bad dreams are of September eleventh. He still can't get his scars to heal over completely. Actually, they never will.

Timothy looks into Mac's eyes and sees he is being truthful. They had an understanding of each other. Timothy gains his composure and raises his gun.

"Okay, get back to work. Look over the files. I'll help in any way I can." His voice filled with anger once again, but not for Mac or Stella.


	5. End My Misery!

Mac and Stella stand behind Mac's desk; the file between them. Their shoulders are touching; the human contact calming them down. They need clear minds or they'll never find the boy. If they fail they'll probably leave the room in body-bags.

Some of what the file said they both already know. He's a senior at a local high school, a straight-A student, the star of the basketball team; everything a teenager hopes to be.  _Why would he run away?_  The more logical explanation was kidnapping, but why? His family didn't come from money; they were lower-middle class. Possibly an enemy from school. Everyone knows that high school is a rough time for a kid. Maybe he got on a classmates bad side? Or a significant other looking for revenge? All of these questions play through their minds.

"Does your son have any enemies? Anyone that didn't like him, or ever threatened him?" Stella asks.

"No," Timothy shakes his head, "Everyone loves my boy. Never even got in a fight."

They both frown. That idea is more than likely shot down.

"Does Timothy Jr. have an ex-girlfriend or boyfriend?" Mac asks.

"No. He's never had a girlfriend, and he's not gay. He's the only boy I know who wants to save himself for marriage. Don't know how he became such a gentleman." Timothy's face shines. He's obviously proud of his son.

One more idea shot down.

"Mac, we should have Don go talk to the teachers and [students](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/5/End_My_Misery) at his high school. Maybe they know of someone or something that Mr. Darbrook doesn't."

Mac nods his head.

"Yeah. You should call Don. I'll look over the evidence list. See if there's something there of importance."

Stella gets out her phone, but before she calls Don she looks at Timothy. He shakes his head in approval.

"Don? Yeah, it's me Stella."

" _Stell? You alright?"_

"I have to tell you something. Are you ready?"

" _Yeah, is everything alright in there?"_

"Mac and I are in his office. A man has us held hostage. His son is missing. We're fine, but we need your help."

" _Why are you telling me this all over again? Oh, wait, I get it. He doesn't know that I already know what's going on. What do you need?"_

"A boy named Timothy Darbrook Jr. is missing and we need your help finding him. I need you to go to Filmont High School and ask around. See if his peers or teachers know of anyone that might want to harm him."

" _Okay, will do. And Stella? You guys be safe."_

"We will. Don't worry."

Stella hangs up the phone and sees that Timothy is staring at her.

"He's heading there now. If anyone knows  _anything_  Detective Don Flack will figure it out."

Timothy just keeps staring at her.

Stella walks back beside Mac.

"Find anything?" Stella asks.

"Maybe. Mr. Darbrook, is there anything missing from your son's room?"

"Um, I don't know. How should I?"

"Does your son have a cell phone?"

"Of course, he's a teenager. He begged me for one a few years ago. He's had probably 12 different ones since. You know how kids are with technology."

Mac grabs his cell.

"What are you doing Mac?"

"Calling Flack. Going to have him put a trace on Timothy's cell phone. Maybe we can narrow down his location."

Flack answers on the second ring.

" _Mac? What do you need?"_

"I need you to put a trace on the kid's cell phone."

" _Good idea. Will do. Do you want me to make Adam do it while I check out the high school? I can have him call me back and then I can call you."_

"Sure. Thanks Don." Mac hangs up without saying goodbye. Timothy is staring at him just like he was Stella minutes earlier.

"He's going to get one of the lab people to do the trace, but won't explain why he needs the information. After they pinpoint the location Detective Flack will call me back and check it out. He'll call us if he finds anything important." Mac explains.

Timothy shakes his head saying he understands, and walks towards the windows. The blinds were already drawn so he didn't have to worry about people thinking something was wrong. At least, he didn't think he did. All of a sudden there's a knock on the door.

"Mac? Are you in there?" It was Danny.

Stella and Mac give each other a quick glance; both thinking the same thing.  _Danny, get out of here._

Timothy looks at Stella and uses his gun to motion her over to him. She gives one last look at Mac before she does. His heart almost breaks.  _She's scared._

Nervously, Stella stares at the door, hoping that Danny will just go away.  _Please Danny. You don't need to get caught up in this mess too._  Obviously he can't hear Stella's mind pleading with him to leave.

XXOXX

"Mac? Stella? You guys in there?" Danny asks through the door.  _I hope everything's okay. His door is never locked with the blinds shut. Usually this only happens when he's ripping someone a new one._ A smile spreads across his face.  _Maybe they're making out and I just interrupted them._  He chuckles inwardly.  _Yeah, that_ really _sounds like something Mac would do._

Danny knocks again. This time the door opens.

"Hi Danny. What's up?" Stella asks trying to act casual.

"Hi Stella. Um, is everything okay?"  _Her makeup's smeared. She must have been crying._

"Yeah, everything's fine. What did you need?" She sounds slightly impatient.

"Just wanted to know what was up with you two." He stops. "Are you  _sure_  you're alright? Is Mac alright? You didn't beat him up, did you?"

She attempts a strained smile, but doesn't laugh.  _Weird. She usually laughs at my stupid jokes._

"No." One word answer. Obviously she is trying to make Danny drop the whole thing and leave her alone.

"Uh, okay. I'll just leave then. If you need anything you know where to find me." Danny walks a few steps and turns around. The door is already shut and he can hear it being locked. _Weird…_  When Danny turns back around he almost runs into Adam.

"Adam, what's up with Mac and Stella?"

"Oh, uh, they're working on a case for the Feds. It's confidential. They don't want to be disturbed. That's what Flack said anyway. Uh, I'm kinda busy, so can you tell everyone else to leave them alone?"

"Yeah, sure thing."

"Great. Thanks man." Adam walks away and Danny scratches his head.  _Really weird…_

XXOXX

Before Danny can turn back, which she is sure he will do, she shuts and locks the door. A sigh emerges from her lips. She hates lying to people, especially people she cares about. When she turns around both men are staring at her.

"He left."

"He knows something is going on." Timothy growls. He is  _not_  happy.

"Don't worry, he just thinks me and Mac are fighting. Trust me. I know Danny."

Timothy's eyes shoot toward Mac.

"She's probably right. He wouldn't even imagine that someone else is in this room let alone someone with a gun." Mac says point-blank.

All of a sudden there's a noise. They all jump. It's just Mac's cell phone.

"Put it on speaker." Timothy says while pointing the gun at Mac. He does what he's told.

"Hi Don, you're on speakerphone."

" _Hi guys. Just got done at the school. No one knows anything. Everyone says he's loved. Has no enemies and mostly keeps to himself. I got nothin' so far. Adam hasn't called me back yet."_

"Tell him to hurry up! Tim might not have much time!" Timothy yells and Flack is taken aback.

" _Don't worry, sir. I'll tell him to put a rush on it. Do you mind if I check out your house?"_

"No, go ahead." Timothy sounds defeated.  _It must be hard to have a child be missing. I can't even imagine what he's going through right now._

"You two," Timothy motions at Mac and Stella even though they're the only ones in the room, "Keep looking at the file."

For the next two hours they look over all the information and evidence, but they can't find anything. The file is in front of them. Mac sighs. They aren't finding anything of value in the file. It doesn't help that a gun is loosely pointed in their direction. His weight put on his hands on top of his desk. Neither is making any leeway, which is aggravating. Stella rests her hand on Mac's. Slowly her thumb moves back and forth rubbing his hand. Yet again, the human contact soothing them both.

Tim is getting giddy. Then Mac's phone rings once again. Before he's asked he puts it on speaker.

"Um…I have some good news and some bad news. Adam found the location of the cell phone. Mr. Darbrook, we found your son…" Sirens could be heard in the background along with faint voices. To those who knew him, they could tell something was wrong.

Timothy collapses onto Mac's couch.

"Oh thank God!" Life drains back into the man's face.

"Wait, what's the bad news?" Mac gulps afraid to know the answer.

"I found Timothy in an abandoned warehouse. He had makeshift living quarters there. When I walked in he grabbed a gun and pointed it to his head. Tim told me that he had run away because his dad was an alcoholic and couldn't deal with it anymore. He said he couldn't go back. I'm sorry I have to tell you this over the phone Mr. Darbrook, but your son shot himself. He's dead."

"NO!" Timothy starts to weep uncontrollably. "NO! YOU'RE LYING! YOU'RE LYING!"

"I'm sorry Mr. Darbrook, I'm not. I truly am sorry. There was nothing I could do. His body is being sent to the nearest hospital to be pronounced dead."

"No, he can't be. Give me proof! Send me a picture!"

"I'm not sure that's a good ide-"

"Send me a damn picture!" Timothy screams, rage and grief consuming him.

"Okay, I'm sending it now."

The phone beeps and Mac opens the photo. It's of a teenage boy with curly brown hair and a gaping red hole in the side of his head. He hands his phone over to Timothy, expecting a waterfall, but his reaction is not what's expected.

"Damn it! How could he do this?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Darbr-" Stella starts.

"Son of a bitch!" He yells. Stella jumps. "Shut up! I'm going to kill you both!" The gun focuses on Stella. He was not thinking straight at all. Then again, who would if they were in his situation?

Mac steps in front of Stella protectively and slowly advances towards Timothy. "Are you  _really_  going to kill us? Huh?" Mac waits for a response, but Timothy just stares at him; fire shooting from his eyes.

"Well? Do you have the courage, or don't you?" Edging him on.

"Mac…" Stella whispers as she places her hand on his shoulder.  _What is he doing? He's going to get himself killed._

Timothy pushes his gun against Mac's temple.

"Do it! I  _dare_ you!" His own hatred for himself burning. He wasn't even thinking about Stella.

"Mac!" Stella exclaims in shock. Mac is reverting back into the man he used to be; the man Stella thought was gone; the man she thought she had helped replace years ago. Apparently he was still there somewhere lurking under his skin. Timothy cocks the gun.

"Do it! Pull the trigger. I don't have anything to lose! I don't have a wife! I don't have kids! I don't' have a family!" Mac is screaming at Timothy.  _Just let him do it. At least I won't have to deal with this pain anymore._

"Mac!"  _Oh my God, he wants him to shoot. He wants to die._

"Well?"

Timothy starts to cry and shake uncontrollably. "I don't have anything to lose!"

"Yes you do! Your little girl needs you. If you kill us she'll have no one." Stella pleads with Timothy hoping she can calm him down. If anyone knows what it feels like to not have parents, it's Stella. Sadly Mac is making the situation worse.

"I had to go through the same thing you did! My wife was ripped away from me just like yours was!" Mac's voice booms.

Timothy's hand shakes. They could both see the gears turning in his head. A noticeable spark lights in his eye. He's going to shoot.

"DO IT! JUST DO IT! END MY MISERY!" Mac screams from the top of his lungs.

BANG!

There's a gunshot and a pool of blood. A lifeless body lies on the floor.


	6. Where Do We Begin?

The pool of blood grows. A body lays limp on the ground. Mac stands in shocked silence. Timothy Darbrook is dead.

"He killed himself…" Mac says, his voice in a whisper. He starts to sink to the floor, and Stella helps him down. They sit there in silence for a moment before Stella grabs him. She holds him for dear life and rocks back and forth like a mother rocking a child. Tears stream down.

"Do you really think you have nothing to lose?" Stella can barely get the words from her lips. Mac just looks into her eyes; his own pain mirrored.

"You aren't serious?" Stella asks hurt. His eyes don't waver from hers. He's hurting bad, and Stella doesn't know what to do about it. The man she cares about thinks he has nothing to live for.

"How could you say that Mac? Everyone here cares about you.  _I_ care about you. If you died I'd be a mess. I don't think I can live without you, Mac." Her words pierce his soul; her eyes shatter his heart.

Surprisingly, Mac starts to cry. He's never cried like this in his life. Crying shows weakness, but for once Mac didn't care.  _I hurt her. All I thought about was my own pain. I didn't even think about what my death would do to her. How could I be so selfish? How could I be so stupid?_

"I'm sorry Stella. I know you care about me. I care about you too…" He couldn't say the words he truly wanted to say. Actually, he didn't have to.

"I love you, Mac. I do, I really do. If it were your body lying there right now…" The words fade into silence. Stella can't even think about Mac being dead. She [sniffles](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/6/End_My_Misery). "I don't think I'm[strong](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/6/End_My_Misery) enough."

Mac is shocked by Stella's words.  _She really does love me. How could I ever think death was worth the pain?_

"I love you too, Stella. I'm sorry. I tried to take the coward's way out. I believe you. It just took all of this for me to figure it out. I promise I will never take my life for granted again; not as long as you're in it."

A strained smile comes onto her mouth, and he returns it. Without warning their heart rates quicken. It's because they realize they're so close to each other.  _Why is this happening to me? It's only Mac. I shouldn't be this nervous._  Their lips are about to meet when [someone](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/6/End_My_Misery) knocks on the door.

"What the hell is going on in there? Mac? Stella? Open the damn door before I break it down!" Danny screams.

Mac gets up and helps Stella get to her feet. They're both still shaky from the day they've had. Before Danny breaks the door down and all hell breaks loose, Mac opens it. His hand is now around Stella's waist trying to support her.

When the door opens Hawkes, Danny, and Adam are standing there pumped on adrenaline.

"Was that a gunshot?" Adam asks quickly.

"Oh, my. Who is that?" Hawkes runs over to Timothy's cold, pale body.

"There was somebody in here and you didn't tell me?" Danny says obviously hurt that Stella didn't trust him.

Adam just stood in the doorway looking like he'd seen a ghost. He passes out on the floor and Danny kneels down to him.

"I'm sorry Danny. If I told you you'd be in danger. Mac and I were already hostages; I couldn't let anything happen to you. Lindsay would kill me." The last part of her apology came with a miniscule smile.

"To answer Hawkes, it's Timothy Darbrook Sr. He wanted us to find his missing son." Mac goes on to explain the whole thing, and just before he's done Don walks in.

"Damn. He doesn't look very good." Good ol' Flack; always trying to lighten the mood. "You guys okay?"

Both previous hostages shake their heads.

"I'll call a bus, but he's long gone." Hawkes states the obvious. A stapler could tell the man was dead; he had a gunshot wound in his head.

Adam starts to stir.

"What's going on?" As soon as Adam sees the dead body for the second time he passes out. Again.

 _Poor kid,_  Stella thinks.

 _He'll never make it the field,_  Mac thinks and almost smiles. Almost.  _Hopefully he never asks._

"Stell, Mac, come on. Let's get out of here. How long have you been in here, anyway?"

Mac looks at the clock. It was around 2 o'clock in the afternoon.

"For 6 hours." He states.

"Whoa. Alright, you guys need to eat something. My treat. After you get a breather I can take your statement. For now, just relax."

 _Don, you're a lifesaver,_  Stella thinks and smiles. She's surprised to see Mac doing the same. For the first time she realizes that his arm is still around her waist.  _I wonder if he just realized it, too. Or he could just be glad Flack is letting us pull ourselves together._  As Stella suspected Mas is smiling because he realizes where his hand is rested.  _What a weird day. Never could have suspected this would happen._

"Well, I could use a break. I've had enough  _fun_  for one day, how about you Stella?"

"Oh yeah. I think I'm all 'funned' out." Stella's smile gets wider. What had happened just minutes earlier was quickly fading. _  
_

XXOXX

The three of them go to a little diner close to the lab. The food was greasy, but it was food. Besides, it was a relief to them to get out of Mac's office. Neither of them would ever look at that room the same way again. Years later they will look back on this day and say it was meant to be, but for now they were just glad it was over.  _I guess I should have listened to my gut. Then again, if I had gone back to bed it might be Mac's body lying in that office and not Timothy's._

At the same time Stella was thinking about her gut feeling, Mac was thinking about his.  _If that woman hadn't run into me this morning I wouldn't have had to change my shirt. My back wouldn't have been turned. I might have stopped the situation before it even started. Then again, if it hadn't had been my head the gun was pointed at, it might have been Stella's. It could be her body lying on the ground._

After they ate Flack took them back to the precinct to get their statements. Naturally they already knew the drill, so it didn't take too long. Stella had one question to ask Flack before Mac and her left.

"What will happen to that little girl? Does she have family to stay with?"

"No, afraid not. Her grandparents are dead and she doesn't have any aunts or uncles to take her in."

"So she's going into an orphanage?" It's a hard blow for Stella. She already knows the answer.

"Yeah, why? You got a request?" Flack knows her so well.

"Uh huh. St. Basil's; that's where I grew up. She'll be in good hands there."

"Okay, Stell. I'll see what I can do." He flashes her a faint smile, then looks at Mac.

"What are you gonna do the rest of the day, Mac. You can't go back to work; if you try I'll kick you out."

"No, I think I'm just going to go home." He looks at Stella as if she will confirm what he's saying.

"Me, too. I've had enough excitement for one day."

"Alright. Don't hesitate to call me if you need anything. I'll probably just be behind my desk until my shift is over. After that, the hospital." His last sentence is said with a smile.

"Okay, will do." She turns around and Mac does the same. Once again they're shoulder to shoulder.

"Are you really going home, or are you just saying that?" Mac asks as they exit.

"I think we need to talk. My place or yours?" Mac's eyebrow raises.

"Men. Why do they have such dirty minds?" Stella laughs wholeheartedly and lovingly smacks Mac's arm.

"Hey, you said it, not me." He puts his arms up and smiles.

They call a taxi; neither of them feel like driving as of yet. On the way they decide on Mac's place since it is closer, and because Stella hasn't seen it yet.

XXOXX

When they get to Mac's he opens the door and lets her step in first. She's amazed.

"Wow…" Her eyes wide in amazement.  _It's beautiful._

She looks around as Mac takes her coat; she's sure he won't mind. He wouldn't really want to give her a grand tour anyway. Better to just do it herself instead of wait on him.

It has two bedrooms, one and a half bathrooms, light painted walls, and big windows. The bedrooms are to the right, kitchen's in the far right corner, and the living room and dining room are to the left.

"Perfect small family apartment, Mac." Stella says this and Mac blushes, but he doesn't know why. Stella doesn't notice anyway. She's still in awe of his new place.  _I can't believe he lives here. It's so…homey._

Mac gives her a minute to look around while he's in the kitchen.

"Coffee?" He asks.

"Yes, please. You know how I like it." Now it's Stella's turn to blush. Mac doesn't see.

He grabs 2 cups and walks over to where Stella is standing. He motions for her to sit down on the couch. They sit; a couple feet between them. He hands her a cup and takes a sip of his own.

"So," Stella starts; their eyes lock, "Where do we begin?"


	7. Start At The Beginning

"Start at the beginning and work forward?" Mac asks nervously. Stella nods. Neither of them feeling very sure of themselves. When they had confessed their love for each other they were both feeling vulnerable and scared. It had been a few hours; their minds not as cramped or cloudy as before.

"I knew that when I woke up this morning something was going to happen. I had a bad gut feeling." Stella starts.

"I had the same feeling." Mac admits.

There's silence.

"I don't regret coming in today. If it had been your body…" Mac can't finish his sentence. Stella's heart drops.

"I feel exactly the same way, Mac. If it had been you there all alone I don't think I could live with myself." She pauses afraid to go on. "When I was driving in this morning a man cut me off. I could have turned him in, but I didn't. Mac, it was Timothy." Her look shows guilt.

"It's not your fault, Stella. It was going to happen one way or another. If not today, than tomorrow." Mac's words make her feel better. There's a moment of silence again.

"So…what did you want to talk to me about? We haven't had the time yet to [speak](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/7/End_My_Misery) about it."  _I didn't really want to bring this up, but I have to._

"Well, uh, last night…" Mac starts, but trails off.

"What?"  _Uh oh. He's going to tell me what I did last night, isn't he?_

"You were drunk last night. So much that you kept trying to fall. One time you succeeded and landed on top of me." Mac wants to grin at the amusement of the night before, but Stella's nervousness stops him.

"What else?" Not really wanting to know, but sure she has to.

"Um…you tried to kiss me. On the mouth. Three different times."  
Stella's completely embarrassed. Somehow she turns green and red at the same time.  
"Stella?"  _She looks like she's going to be sick again._

"I'm sorry." Her eyes dart to her hands. When they do, Mac takes them and squeezes.

"Don't be. Besides, you were drunk." She looks up at him and smiles. "Oh, and you almost nailed me with your shoe."

They both start to laugh. The air seems less suffocating. After it subsides, there's silence. Stella musters some bravery.

_Here goes nothing._

"You know, I meant everything I said Mac. You're the only person in my life that has never failed me, and the only one that would never hurt me. I love you, Mac. I have for a long time." Once she starts spilling her feelings she can barely stop, but she does. Stella waits with baited breath.

Now it's Mac's turn. Before he does, he scoots closer to Stella; his sweaty hands clench hers tighter.

"I love you too, Stella. I've loved you for a long time, also. You've been with me through all my hard times. Everyone knows I'm not an open guy, but I feel like I can tell you anything. I've never known anyone that I have truly felt that way about."

Love and desire seem to flow back and forth between them like electricity. Everything was now out in the open. All that was left was to let those feelings grow and mature.

"Where do we go from here?" Stella asks; her grip on Mac's hands becomes tighter. She knows the answer, but wants to hear him say it.

"Well, we'll take it slow." Mac smiles sheepishly. "How about a date?"

"Mac Taylor, I thought you'd never ask." A genuinely happy smile spreads across her face. Mac's heart drops into his stomach.

"You're not the only one." Mac smiles. Stella's heart and soul soar.  _What a day. I'm so glad it turned from bad, to worse, to amazing._

"Where do you want to go?" Stella's curious.

"How about we stay in tonight?" Mac says this and Stella turns red. "Oh, no, that's not what I meant-" He stutters.

"It's okay Mac. That might not be a bad idea…" She lets her words drift into nothingness as she stands up. It's Mac's turn to turn red.  _I love what I can do to this man._

Mac calls for takeout. They've agreed on Chinese. Both of them hadn't had much to eat that day, but that was normal. All work and no play. At least until right now.

They were both content with a small dinner and being in each other's presence. If they took their time they both knew it would be better than rushing right into bed. Not that they didn't know each other well enough to; it was just better that way. Neither of them would be happy with a pure physical relationship.

"It'll be here in half an hour. At least that's what I think he said." Mac frowns until he sees Stella is looking at him. "What?"

"Why do you get all bent out of shape over nothing? Who cares if it takes them 5 hours to get here?"

"I don't know, that's just who I am. Besides, you already knew that about me. Why are you bugging me about it all of a sudden?"

"Hmph! All of a sudden. Are you kidding me? Have you ever listened to any of our arguments? They are almost always because you overreact to the dumbest things; like right now." Stella's voice rises, but she's not really mad. Just a little back and forth playful banter.

"You're right. I do need to loosen up." Mac chuckles. Her jaw drops to the floor. It's not even close to the reaction Stella was waiting for.

"What? Did you just agree with me? Who are you and what did you do with the old Mac Taylor?" She says flabbergasted. Mac laughs again.

"I think you pretty much got rid of him today. Besides, this is more like the old Mac Taylor. The one you first met." Mac is talking about himself before Claire's death, but refuses to actually say it. Stella knows what he's talking about anyway. "Why? Do you not like the new, or I guess, old me?" Mac asks playfully. A smile not leaving his face.  _I haven't seen him this happy since before…_  Stella couldn't finish the thought. It was a touchy subject for her also.

Stella walks over to Mac and holds him gently. Her soft fingers make lines on Mac's face. There's a hungry look in his eyes Stella has never seen before. She likes it.

"Of course I do. I've liked every Mac I've seen. Especially this one." She's referring to the one he is right now; the one filled with happiness and passionate eyes. If they hadn't agreed to taking it slow she would take him right now.  _Damn…I could get used to this Mac. I hope he never leaves._

Mac is feeling the same way. Stella's eyes seem to burn out of their sockets. Her pupils are dilated and seem to be searching his soul.  _I want her so badly, but I can't. We promised we'd take it slow. Besides, we've got all the time in the world._ With that thought his heart seems to do cartwheels. They now had the rest of their lives to build their relationship; there was no rush.

Suddenly the doorbell rings. Mac grabs the food, pays the man, and walks back into the kitchen. He's surprised to see Stella has found a candle and lit it in the middle of his table. It was Claire's. Instead of feeling deflated, he smiles.  _Claire would want me to be happy. Maybe this is a sign?_  Mac's smile gets wider.

"How'd you find that?" He says nodding towards the candle.

"I'm a detective, remember?" She says with a smirk. "Do you like it?" Hoping that he does.

"I love it, just like I love you." He bends over and gives her a passion filled kiss.

"Uh, oh." Stella says and Mac instantly freezes.

"What?" He panics.  _Did I do something wrong?_

"I'm just afraid everyone will be mad that I killed the old Mac when we go into work tomorrow." Stella smiles pleased with herself and he smiles back.  _God, I am so glad he's happy. I've been waiting for this for so long. I can't believe how much he's lightened up tonight. I missed this Mac._

"I don't think  _anyone_  will be mad about that." He hints.  _One night and she's already gotten me to act like a lovesick puppy dog. Only Stella could break down my walls in a few short hours._

They sit down to eat. Their conversations about nothing in particular. Yet again, each other's company is all that matters.

Once they are done they clean up the few dishes. Side by side they stand in front of Mac's sink. Both of them letting their minds wander to the future. How nice it would be to do this together every night. Sleeping in the same bed would be a nice bonus, too.

After their work is done, they sit on the couch. Mac's arm around Stella's shoulders; her hand rested on his knee. Their senses raging.

They just sit there, enjoying their new found romance. Conversations come and go.

A few hours pass by before Stella decides it's time to leave; as much as she hates to. She slowly gets up and Mac does the same.

"I hate to leave after such a wonderful night, but I'd better. I don't think either of us is ready to spend the night together." Stella blushes and so does Mac.

"I feel the same way, but it's for the best. Goodnight Stella. I'll see you in the morning." With this he leans over and gives Stella one last passionate kiss.

They both smile as Mac walks with her to the door.

"Be careful, okay? If you need anything just call." Even though the night was wonderful, the memories of the haunting day still loomed in their minds.

"I will Mac. You'd better be safe, too." They both smile, but fear is now evident. If something else did happen tonight it would scar them both.

Mac watches Stella walk outside of his apartment and almost calls her to come back, but he doesn't.  _I have to trust that she'll be okay. If I smother her she won't want anything to do with me. After tonight, and even today, I can't let that happen._  He regretfully closes the door.

"I'll see you in the morning Stella. Hopefully every morning for the rest of my life." Mac says to himself.  _When did I become such a sappy romantic? Oh, that's right. As soon as I fell in love with Stella Bonasera._


	8. Forbidden, But For How Long?

Mac wakes up wishing Stella had [spent](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/8/End_My_Misery) the night. He hoped that they would have woken up together this morning, but it wasn't in the cards. They had both agreed it was for the best. Even if they had just slept in the same bed innocently, it would have been better than this. Mac hates waking up alone.

He gets up, gets ready, and heads out the door excited for the day to come. Mac couldn't remember the last time he was  _this_ excited to go into the lab.

XXOXX

When Stella wakes up she's feeling the same way. She's wishing Mac was with her; at her side. Wanting to be snuggled up against him; his slow breathing making his chest rise and fall. She sighs.  _Another time._

She gets up, gets ready, and turns on the TV while eating a small breakfast: an apple and a muffin. She's surprised to hear her name and Mac's.

" _Yesterday a man walked into the New York Crime Lab and held two veteran CSI's hostage; Detective Mac Taylor and Detective Stella Bonasera. He demanded that they find his missing seventeen year old son, Timothy Darbrook Jr."_ Tim Jr.'s picture came up on the screen, " _Their colleagues had no idea they were in trouble. After hours of police work they found Timothy Jr.'s body. He had committed suicide. A few minutes later, Dr. Darbrook did the same thing in Detective Taylor's office. His wife was killed in 9/11. He left behind a ten year old daughter, Bethany. She will go into foster care."_ A picture of a beautiful young girl flashes up on screen. Stella is taken aback.

"She looks just like her father. Dirty Blonde hair, blue-green eyes, even the shape of his face. That poor girl. All alone is a scary world. I know how that feels."

Stella turns off the depressing news. She already lived through the horrible event. The last thing she wants is to re-live it.

After she's done with breakfast, she leaves for work. She can't stop thinking about Mac.

XXOXX

Stella stands in the lab spacing out; her mind drifting back to the night before. Flack walks in and notices her smile. At first she doesn't know he's standing there.

"I take it you had a good night." Fishing for details without really coming out and asking. Stella jumps.

"Well anything would be better than the day I had yesterday; that's for sure. Hey, how's Jessica?" Trying not to give anything away, plus change topics.

"Great. The baby is, too. Only a few more days." Flack's face shines.

"That's good. I'm glad you're both happy. Hope it stays that way."

"Me too, Stell." His words having double meanings.  _I hope the same for you two._

Before Don leaves he pats Stella on the back.  _They're going to be a great couple. Not that they aren't already,_  Flack thinks with a smile.

XXOXX

Mac's door opens and he's pleased to see it's Stella.

"Hey. How's your day been?"

Mac just grunts in frustration then looks in her eyes.

"That bad, huh?" She frowns.

He just nods his head and looks down at the papers on his desk. Stella walks closer expecting him to clarify, but he doesn't. Instead of waiting for him to spill the beans on his problems, she spills her own.

"Everyone kept asking me if I was okay, and I said I was. They just looked at me funny. Probably think I've lost my mind because I'm really not that shaken up about it." She left out the fact she wasn't that affected by it because of last night. Nothing better than talking hard times through, and expressing feelings with a significant other. Everything was out in the open. They felt free.

"Yeah, I had that happen a few times. That's why I'm in here. I was tired of getting all that attention. I'm not that shaken up about it either, so consolation wasn't really on my list of things to do today." He also left out about last night. It had exhilarated him and calmed his spirit.

Stella changes the subject.

"I think Don knows." Hinting at their newly formed relationship.

"Of course he does." Mac frowns, then does something that floors Stella. He actually smiles. Not a wide smile, but a smile nonetheless. "Well, I guess they'll all learn eventually."

"Wow, Mac. You have changed since yesterday. You're not as dark and brooding." She seriously is surprised by his sudden change of mood.  _I think the old Mac is finally coming back to us; to me._

"I haven't changed that much. Just a little more out of the shadows than before. You of all people know the last few years have been hard for me." His eyes turn sad, but in a flash there's something else. Hope. Stella could see it.  _He's finally breaking out of his shell. Well, starting to._ He'll never completely step out of his own dark shadow, but he's working on it. _He's trying to make himself a better man, for me and for himself. He really is ready to move on._

Stella stands there for a minute with a question lurking in her mind. Gears are turning in Mac's head.

"What?" Mac asks.

"What else is bothering you? What aren't you telling me?"

 _She can see right through me, can't she?_  Mac thinks to himself. He sighs.

"How did Timothy get up here with a gun in his pocket? Security should have stopped him. How can anyone feel they're safe here if they're not?" With every word Mac's voice seems to grow stronger.

Stella moves behind him and slowly rubs his shoulders. They're tense.

"I don't know. I'd like to know, too. You gotta lighten up Mac. Because of this security is getting their ass chewed out and handed to them on a silver platter. Trust me, they learned their lesson. They're not going to let  _that_  happen again." She tries to alleviate his stress with the tender massage. It's helping.

"I know, but he had a photo ID saying he worked at the lab. We have no idea how he got it. What if someone in here helped him get it?" He says these words in a much softer tone, but he's now rigid once again. Stella continues the rubdown.

"No one we know for sure. He was a doctor who had money. He could have gotten anyone to duplicate that card for him. Even his own son, I'm sure, had the knowledge and the resources." Her voice lulls. "Maybe we should just think of this as a good thing, for security and us, and move on." The last sentence is hushed.

"You're right. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She continues to massage his neck and shoulders.

"Jeez, Mac. You're so tense." Her lips curl into a willful smile. "When was the last time you did anything to relieve stress?" Stella's voice turns thick with feeling. Mac doesn't even notice. He's still distracted by Timothy Darbrook's actions.

"I don't know." Mac answers truthfully, completely oblivious to what Stella's words implement.

"Do you really not know when a woman is coming on to you?"

"Was that a come on?"

"Yes." She half laughs.

"Okay. Then, no."

"Oh you poor, poor man."

"I know." He says solemnly, then something clicks. "Maybe you could teach me something." Mac says this slyly with a smirk.

Stella stops massaging him and leans her head on his shoulder. Her arms go around his neck and rest on his chest. She's pleased to feel his heart beating as fast as hers. Both of their minds floating to the forbidden.

"Was that a come one, Mac Taylor?" Her smile warmer than the sun.

"You tell me." His head moves to look at her and he winks.

"I'm so proud of you, Mac. You're catching on." Affection flying in his direction.

"Well, I have such a good teacher."

Stella kisses his cheek. Their smiles wide and bright.

They don't realize someone is watching them through the blinds with a smile of their own. The man grabs his cell phone.

XXOXX

" _Hi, Hon. When are you coming home? Lucy wants her daddy and so do I. I think I'm catching her cold."_ A sneeze comes as if on cue.

"I'll be home as soon as I can. Had some work left. You won't believe what I just saw going on in Mac's office."

" _What? Nothing bad is it?"_ Lindsay's heart starts to beat faster. She already hadn't been there yesterday because of their sick daughter.  _What if something else is going on?_

Danny chuckles lightly. He doesn't want Mac and Stella to know he's spying on them from across the hall.

"Nah, nothing like that. Stella and Mac are totally flirting. She was rubbing his shoulders, then she kissed his cheek. As we speak she's standing behind him with her arms around his neck." Danny smirks.  _Way to go Mac._

" _Aw, that's so cute!"_ Lindsay has a sweet smile.  _Way to go Stella._

"Took 'em long enough, eh?" Danny says.

" _I know. Do you think it's because of what happened last night?"_  Never argue with a woman's intuition. It's usually right.

"I do. Nothing like a life and death situation to show you what you have, huh?" Referring to when Shane Casey took Lucy hostage. It wasn't something they talked about.

" _We've had a few of those in our lives, haven't we?"_

"Yes, we have. Well I'll see you in a few.

" _You'd better or I might just run away with the delivery man. He came by today you know."_ Lindsay's pulling his leg.

"Very funny."

Both know the other is smiling; even over the phone.

XXOXX

Stella and Mac had been dating for a few days when Danny and Lindsay walk out of the elevator. They've just gotten back from a checkup. Lindsay and Danny's hands were both rested on her stomach and their unborn child.

"Do you know what the gender is yet?" Stella asks, curious.

"A boy." Lindsay and Danny say together.

"I bet Danny's excited about that." Mac pats Danny's arm and winks.

"Oh yeah." Lindsay says happily. "Just what we need, another Danny running around." She says teasing her husband.

"Hey, you love me." He pulls her closer and kisses her forehead.

"Sadly." She says this while smiling.

"When are you two gonna start popping out babies?" Danny asks Mac and Stella teasingly. They look at each other taken off guard. Their faces both extremely red.

Lindsay saves the day and buys them time.

"'Popping out'? You try to have kids. If you did you wouldn't be saying 'popping out.'" Lindsay smacks her husband's chest. "And don't you  _dare_  say I'm yelling at you because of hormones!"

"I'm sorry. Trust me; I could never have a kid. I'm not strong like you are, babe." Danny tries to get out of the doghouse.

"Good try, Messer. Good try." She's still mad, but her face softens.

The married couple then looks at the unmarried couple. Danny didn't forget his previous question. Mac goes first.

"We haven't even talked about  _marriage_  yet let alone children." Still a light shade of red.

"Why Mac? Are  _you_  thinking about marriage?" She asks playfully hoping that he'll answer her; that he'll tell the truth. She herself had been thinking about being Mrs. Stella Taylor for quite some time now.  _Does he feel the same?_

Somehow Mac's face turns a deeper shade than before.

"I'm not going to talk about marriage in front of a bunch of people, Stella." Without another word, he walks away. After exchanging wide-eyed looks with both Lindsay and Danny, she follows him. They exchange their own look, and Lindsay smiles.

"How long do you think it'll be before he proposes?" Lindsay asks knowing it will happen eventually.

"Two months?" Danny says with a smile mimicking his wife's.

"I give him less. Bet forty bucks on it?" Lindsay says.

"You're on, Montana."

They decide they should be going back to work. Without any words, they already know what the other is thinking.


	9. It Continues

Stella grabs Mac's arm, but he pulls away. She darts in front of him and stands in his path.

"Get out of my way." He says more in annoyance than anger. She doesn't budge.

Mac is nervous, and Stella can see it. _He's trying to push me away, but I won't allow it. You have to know me better than that, Mac._

"I don't want to talk about it right now, Stella."

She's surprised by how sad he looks.  _What's wrong with him?_  She wants to say, 'Mac, we need to talk about this,' but she doesn't. Instead she says, "Another time," and sighs.

Mac doesn't know what to say. In actuality, he does want to talk about it, but he's scared to.  _What if she doesn't want kids as much as I do? Maybe I'm ready, but she's not? Could we live with that?_  Fear overtakes him. Mac's scared that his longing to have a child will send Stella packing. Everyone knows that Stella likes children, but having one is a whole different story.

Before Mac can say anything else, his phone rings. Literally saved by the bell. It's Don.

"Hi Don."

" _Mac! It's Jess. She's in labor. Everything is fine. I just wanted to tell you."_

"That's great, Flack. I'll tell everyone. We'll meet you there in a while."

" _Okay, thanks."_ Pure [happiness](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/9/End_My_Misery), nervousness, and adrenaline describe Don's voice.

Mac tells Stella, then the others. They head over to the hospital in awkward silence. Everyone else follows them in their own vehicles.

XXOXX

Silently the whole group walks into the hospital room. They don't want to disturb the sleeping bundle of joy. Jess is sitting on the hospital bed with her newborn beautiful baby boy in her arms, and her husband swooning at her side. She had been in labor for a while before Flack told Mac. Don actually passed out for a while from nervousness. Jessica's [doctor](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/9/End_My_Misery) had called it New Dad Syndrome. Apparently he had come up with it himself.

"What's his name?" Stella asks in a whisper. Both Lindsay and Stella move closer to the child. The men lag behind. What is it with women and babies?

"Edmond Kyle Flack." Jess says with a smile, enjoying the feeling of her son in her hands. Flack's smile is just as big as his wife's.

Mac says what they're all thinking.

"Edmond?" Mac smirks, one eye raised.  _Who names their boy[Edmond](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/9/End_My_Misery)?_

"Don't ask." Jess rolls her eyes.

"What? It's a family name. My Ma would kill me if I didn't name my first born Edmond." Don says defensively.

"Okay, Flack. Whatever you say." Stella snickers.

"Poor kid." Hawkes says and smiles.

"Oh, yeah,  _Sheldon_. You're one to talk. I bet you got teased as a kid." Danny hits a touchy chord. Before Hawkes can retort, Flack gets back on subject.

"Hey, it's not my fault. Like I said, my mom would kill me and throw me in the Hudson if I didn't." Still trying to justify his newborn son's name.

" _Besides,_  we're calling him Kyle." Jessica chimes in trying to save her husband from more scrutiny.

"Thank God." Hawkes says with a smirk.

"Haha. You're so funny  _Sheldon_." Flack says. Sheldon frowns, defeated. "You too Mac." Don teases.

"Hey, I didn't say anything. I was just asking." Mac says.

Jess and Don exchange a look; they are thinking the same thing.

"Oh. Stella, Mac; we have something to ask you. Stella is like a sister to us both, and Mac, you're like a brother. Will you two be Kyle's Godparents?"

They're both shocked by the sudden life altering question. All they can do is search each other's eyes. With this they know the answer.

"Of course." Mac says.

"We'd be honored." Stella puts her arm around Mac's shoulders in a friendly fashion. They don't want to arouse suspicion, but they can't stop what has already happened. Everyone knew. They could tell, and it wasn't because Danny had told anyone what he had seen. Or what both he and Lindsay already know. They just knew.

"October eleventh, huh? He's a Libra. Gonna be a good people person." Leave it to Adam to say a random comment. After that the conversation picks up.

The experienced parents, Lindsay and Danny, tell the new parents what to expect: The late night feedings, colic, diaper rash, and all that other  _fun_  stuff. Of course, they talk about the good things, too: Their first words, their first steps, the smile that can melt a parents heart, and on and on. They talk like that for a couple hours, and the others chime in occasionally.

After a while, they start to leave. Sid goes first, then Adam, Lindsay and Danny, and finally Mac and Stella. Before they all go they congratulate the happy family once again. As Stella leaves she takes one last look at the newly created family. It pulls at her heartstrings. Don and Jess's faces are glowing. She aches for the same thing. Stella wonders if Mac is thinking the same thing. He is.

The elevator down to Mac's Avalanche is in silence. Tension is growing. All they want to talk about is their feelings towards having kids, but neither of them is ready to. They don't want to be the first one to ask. Marriage wasn't even discussed yet, so kids were out of the question.

XXOXX

It was their one month anniversary, and Mac had a surprise for Stella. She's told to stay in the living room while he grabs a dining room chair and his bass guitar. He's going to play for her.

He closes his eyes and he can almost see notes and colors dance across his brain. His strong callused fingers gliding up and down the neck in expert fashion. His other hand gently strumming the strings of the bass. It was a slow, beautiful love song.

Music is his biggest passion. On a bad day it calms him; it keeps him sane. His guitar was the only thing that could do that, besides Stella. His serenade continues. His eyes stay closed, playing each note with feeling and passion; both for his bass, and for her. He ends on a gorgeous chord. It resonates; slowly dissipation into the air around them.

When he opens his eyes his heart skips a beat. Her eyes are welled with warm tears. She has a look on her face he has never seen before.

"That was beautiful. What's it called?" Her voice soft and low.

"My Greek Goddess." Mac's eyes get low and sparkle. Now Stella's heart skips a beat. She's afraid to ask her next question.

"Did you write it?" It barely chokes out of her. Mac smiles, but now he's nervous.  _Did she actually like the song? Will she think it's weird I wrote a song just for her ears? I hope I don't scare her away._ Beautiful, emerald, sparkling eyes give him courage.

"Yes. For you." His voice so soft and loving Stella forgets to breathe.

She rushes into his arms; his bass now sitting propped against the wall behind him. He's still sitting on one of the dining room chairs. She's in his lap holding him in a loving hug.

"That's the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me. Thank you, I love it."

A tender kiss is planted on his lips. Her arms go to the back of his neck; his to the small of her back. Their kiss quickly becomes filled with passion and longing. Then something goes off in Stella's mind. She's straddling him.

"You did this on purpose, didn't you?" Her words sound agitated, but Mac knows she's not. Her eyes give her away.

"What? No." Mac's telling the truth. He really did play the song just to serenade her. Stella's heart leaps into her throat.

"I'm in love with the sweetest man on Earth. I'm the luckiest woman in the world." Her thoughts and feelings pouring out as she's thinking them.

"I feel exactly the same way about you, Stella." Mac's eyes are filled with love and longing. They're mimicking Stella's.

"Guess what?" Stella says in a lustful growl.

"What?" Mac almost gulps. She leans towards his ear. Warm breath tickles his neck, putting thoughts into his mind. It didn't help that she was sitting in his lap. She whispers almost inaudibly into his ear.

"You're going to get lucky tonight." Mac puts his mouth close to her ear, giving Stella shivers down her whole body.

"Why didn't I think of this earlier?"

XXOXX

A week later they are snuggled on the couch watching TV.

Nonchalantly Stella says, "I got a job offer in New Orleans."

After a pause and an extremely confused look on Mac's part, he retorts.

"What? I didn't know you were looking."

Stella sighs. "I learned about it a few months ago. I didn't want you to hear about it from anyone else." Anyone else mostly meaning Sinclair.

In this instant Mac's world comes crashing down around him; suffocating him. He almost can't get out his next few words, but somehow he manages.

"Did you accept?" The short pause seemed to last a lifetime.

Stella smiles and confuses Mac once again.

"Of course not. After all that's happened lately and all we've been through? After everything that's happened between us, how could I accept? How could I leave?"

Mac smiles. "I'm glad."

They go back to snuggling on the couch.

"Besides, if you wanted more paperwork all you had to do was ask." Mac teases.

Stella just pokes him in the ribs and smiles.

"Ow." He fakes a pout.

"That didn't hurt."

"How do you know?"

"Because the Mac Taylor I know is no weakling."

Mac just continues to pout in a playful fashion.

"Here, I'll make it all better." Stella says as she gives Mac a passionate kiss.

"Well?"

"Yep, all better."

They continue to sit on the couch before the television, but neither of them is watching it. Not intently anyway. They're both just glad they're holding onto each other.  _I can't believe this is finally happening. I've waited years to be by this man's side. Why would I ever leave him?_

Mac is also thinking. Out of nowhere a smile creeps onto his face. He doesn't know where it came from.  _I think I've smiled more in the past few weeks than I have in my entire life. I guess she really has changed me back. That's Stella for you. She could make the Pope convert to Judaism._  He smiles again.  _She did it again. Didn't even have to say anything and I smile. I'm the luckiest man alive._

In a little while they turn off the TV and continue into the bedroom, but not to sleep of course. Sleep would come after they showed their love for one another, and it always did come. In the last few weeks they both slept better than they had in years.

XXOXX

They had spent every night after work together. Everything was going great. More than great. It was perfect. They have now been together for not quite two months.

When they started dating, they took turns going to each other's apartments, but as time went on, they always stayed at Mac's. It started to get where Stella basically lived with Mac, so she moved some of her stuff in: clothes, shampoo and conditioner, blow dryer, robe, combs, and other feminine products.

"You do realize you're pretty much moved in here, don't you?"

"Yeah, I do. Why? Do you want me to move in completely?" She smirks.

"No, I just... I mean-" Mac stutters, then he's cut off.

"What?" Stella now angry. "If you have something to say Mac, just say it."

"I didn't mean that I don't want you to move in," Mac stutters. Instead of starting a huge argument, and before Stella walks out, he pulls out a blue box, "I'd just rather us be wed before we do." Stella's hands shoot towards her face as she gasps. She falls back onto the bed in a sitting position. Mac gets on his right knee and opens the box. It's beautifully golden with a large diamond and two green emeralds on either side. "Stella, I love you. I know we haven't been dating for a very long time, but we've known each other for what seems like forever. I thank God for the horrible day that turned into a magical night, because without it, we would not be where we are right now. I love you to the moon and back. Stella Bonasera, will you marry me?" They're both about to pass out.

"Yes! Yes, of course I'll marry you!" She squeals. Mac slides the ring onto her finger and they hold each other in a warm, loving embrace. They regretfully pull back so Stella can look at the ring closer.

"It's beautiful Mac. I love it."

"Beautiful just like you." She looks at him and they both smile. Both pairs of eyes are filled with more happiness, joy, and love than ever before.

"I got it from Tiffany's. I remembered you once said you loved their jewelry and their little blue boxes. The emeralds match your eyes." His face is full of love. Stella kisses him.

"You're the sweetest man in the world. I've told you that before, haven't I?"

"Yes, I believe you have."  _This is the perfect engagement ring. I couldn't have picked out a more perfect ring myself. I couldn't have picked a more perfect man. He must have put a lot of thought into it. I could never find a better husband than Mac._ She liked the sound of that.  _Husband._


	10. Good Omens

Mac and Stella kiss in the middle of the lab with some watching. She stands there as he gets in elevator. He thinks no one else is looking, so he blows her a kiss. She 'casually' puts her hand to her heart and feels it beating like a [jack rabbit](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/10/End_My_Misery).

"That's so cute." Lindsay swoons.

"Were we that lame when we were dating?" Danny asks with a wide smile.

"Probably." She smiles and smacks his arm.

Stella walks in, her heels clicking on the hard floor.

"Hey you two. What do ya got?" Asking for information on their ongoing case.

They start to tell her about the evidence that they've been looking over. They take turns speaking. As Stella's hands rest on the microscope, Lindsay grabs them. Danny and Stella both jump from her sudden, strange reaction.

"Is that what I think it is?" Lindsay gasps, Stella's left hand in hers. She's mesmerized. Stella blushes with a proud smile.

"Yeah. He proposed last night."

"Well, congratulations you two." Lindsay smiles, then turns to Danny. "Cough it up, Messer." She demands of her husband. He reaches for his wallet.

"Yeah, yeah." Danny says to his wife, then turns his attention back to Stella. "Congrats, Stell. You guys will last, I'm sure of it. But he really couldn't have lasted a couple more days?"

"Thanks guys; I think so too, Danny." Stella pauses as she watches Danny get two twenties from his wallet. "And what are you two doing? Did you bet on when we'd bet engaged?" Stella's confused, but smiling none the less.

"Yep, and I won. Danny said two months, and I said less." She takes the money from Danny's hand and puts it in her pocket. They have a joint [bank account](http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7327493/10/End_My_Misery), but she wants him to learn his lesson. Always listen to your wife.

"You're not pregnant are you? Don't worry, we won't be hypocritical, I promise." Danny asks, putting his hand over Lindsay's stomach. They knew a lot about a shotgun wedding.

"No. Besides, we still haven't talked about kids." Stella frowns.

"Trust me, he wants kids. Did you see the envious look on his face when he saw Don with Kyle? It was the same look you had for Jess." Lindsay winks. And some people don't think Lindsay is smart. Stella just blushes even further than before.  _Is she right? Does Mac really want kids as bad as I do? I sure hope so. We'd better talk about it tonight just to be safe. It's better to go to the alter knowing what the other wants in their future with you._

"I'd better go. We're going to call a meeting in an hour to tell everyone. Can you guys go tell Sid and Hawkes to meet in the conference room? I'll tell the others." They nod, and Stella walks away.

"How much do you bet they're going to have a kid by next year?" Lindsay says with a light laugh.

"Oh no, Montana. I'm not doing that again." Danny puts his hands up and starts to walk away, but then turns back around. "Besides, I agree with you anyway."

He throws her a smile, then goes to get Sid and Hawkes. Lindsay stands, her legs slightly more apart than usual, with her hand on her unborn.  _They are_ so  _going to be good parents._

XXOXX

An hour later and everyone is sitting around the giant glass table.

Flack is sitting next to Jess. She had come to eat lunch with Don when she heard there was news to be told. She suspected what it was, but didn't tell Don. If it wasn't what her woman's intuition told her, she didn't want to get his hopes up.

Adam is sitting next to Don. Lindsay, Danny, and Sid are across from them. Hawkes is sitting at the end opposite of where Mac and Stella are standing. Stella's hands are behind her back. Being the great detectives that they are, the last thing she wants is for them to spot the ring on her finger. For once their perceptive skills would be a hindrance. A surprise is much better any day.

They stand with their shoulders touching to give them courage; just like the day they were held hostage. That was a little less than two months ago. It seemed a lot longer.

"Well, what we called you hear to tell you is…" Mac starts, then lets Stella take over.

"We're getting married!" Stella's excitement surprises even her.

Sid is the first to speak. The rest are flabbergasted. Well, except for Danny and Lindsay.

"You two are engaged? Congratulations!" Sid says with a smile.

"Congrats guys!" Adam says with a huge grin from ear to ear.

"I knew it! Congrats kids!" Don winks.

"Don, we're both older than you." Mac says with a laugh.

"Hey, that was a compliment." Stella says, smacking Mac in the arm. He just smiles.

All of them are overjoyed. The little love smack just cements their confidence that they'll work out.

Danny and Lindsay just sit there and smile.

"What's up with you two? You already knew?" Flack says a little upset Stella wouldn't tell him first.

"No, Don. We found out by accident earlier. I saw her ring." Lindsay says and looks at smile. The two women smile at each other.

"My little pregnant detective." Danny says as his grip around Lindsay tightens.

"You'd  _better_  say 'little' buster." Lindsay says, now five months pregnant.

They all ask to see the ring. The women aw; the men say it's pretty. All of them have smiles set firmly on their faces. Not one of them has any doubts about these two.

"So how did you propose Mac?" Adam asks curious. They can't imagine Mac to be the most romantic guy. They both chuckle and give each other a look. The kind of look Lindsay and Danny, and Don and Jess have with each other. A knowing look of two lovers who know exactly what the other's thinking.

"You'll get a kick out of this Adam. Of course we were bickering…" Stella continues her story and their colleagues laugh. It was so them.

Soon they take their leave and get back to work. Even Mac and Stella.

XXOXX

After a very long day of congratulations and twenty questions, Stella is tired. So is Mac. Neither of them is used to this much attention. Not that they weren't glowing whenever someone congratulated them.

She walks into Mac's office and is surprised to see him lying on his couch.

"Hey handsome, what're you doing?" Stella asks him playfully as she sits at the end; picking up his feet and laying them over her lap. Mac sighs and Stella's good mood plummets.

"We need to talk about something." He says while staring at the ceiling.

For some reason he can't make eye contact. That scares Stella. She instinctually starts to play with her engagement ring. It had only been on her hand for a short few hours, but she was already used to it. Stella, of course, the kind of person that gets used to things fast. When you're an orphan, you have to.

She's also used to people deserting her, which she is afraid Mac is going to do right now.  _Please Mac, don't take back your proposal. I'm happier than I've ever been in my entire life._ She rubs the ring vigorously, hoping it will give her strength. It symbolizes their love for one another, and right now she needs that comfort. She can already fell the world shake from the bomb Mac is about to drop at her feet.

"Mac, I don't like that tone. What is it? Is it about us? Did you change your mind about the engagemen-" Mac cuts her off, now with a tense smile on his face. He moves himself into a sitting position right next to his fiancé.  _And she says my mind races a mile a minute?_

"Whoa, whoa. Slow down." Mac says this with his arms up. "Of course I still want to marry you. It's about after the wedding…it's about having kids."

Stella's shocked. Her mind now in sync with her mouth. Neither of them felt like working properly at the moment.

"What?" She heard someone speak and realized it was herself.

"Children. I want to talk about kids, Stella. I think I'm ready to have them. God knows I'm not getting any younger." He waits impatiently for a reply, but he'll have to be more patient. You-know-who's mind is still lagging behind.

Stella just sits staring at Mac.  _She looks like she went into shock._  Then his mind breaks his heart.  _Wait, maybe she doesn't want kids?_   _Is that why she won't say anything?_

"Are you okay? Do you want children?" Mac looks like a sick dog.

"I-I do. I do want kids, I just…wasn't expecting to talk about it so soon." Her last words drifting into space. Mac grabs her hands and squeezes.

"Well, I'm glad." Honestly, he is. He couldn't be happier. They were going to have a family.

"Me too." Still in a little shock.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, both staring at the wall in front of them. Finally Stella gets the courage to say what's on her mind. It's something that's been on her mind for a long time.

"Do you remember Bethany Darbrook?" Stella asks and Mac knows she's going somewhere with this, but doesn't have a clue where.

"Yes, it's Timothy Sr.'s daughter." He waits for an explanation.

"Well, she's at St. Basil's, where I grew up for a while. I asked Flack if he knew how she was doing, and he said not very well. She's taking their deaths pretty badly." Stella looks at Mac and they now both know what she's going to say next. "I think we should consider adoption. Not right away of course, but sometime in the future."

She waits for Mac's two cents.

"Near future." He states simply.

"What?" Stella asks slightly confused by his short, blunt response.

"Near future. Kids, I mean. I know you want to help Bethany Darbrook. I do, too. It's funny, I don't know anything about her, yet I feel the same way you do. We should adopt her, but not until she's ready and we're ready. First we have to connect with her and build a relationship."

"Like us?" Stella says more than asking. They might have taken their romantic and familial relationship very quickly, but when you've known someone for more than a decade, why not?

"Yeah, like us." He puts his arm around Stella and pulls her closer. She rests her head on his shoulder.

Mac smiles, now content on the way his life is turning out. He knows he never has to be alone in his self-protecting bubble again.  _I'm going to be a husband_ and  _a father._

Stella smiles for pretty much the same exact reason. People she had known in her life had always abandoned her. They had that in common. Now, for the first time in her life, she has a man she can entrust with her life. Even her child's life. She's surprised by how quickly she's getting used to the idea of marriage and children. Then again, it's Mac.  _I'm going to be a mother and a wife. Me and Mac are going to be husband and wife, and Mommy and Daddy. This has all gone so fast, but it really hasn't. I think we've always known this was going to happen._

"You know, Mac; I think this was meant to be."

"I think so, too."

Something catches Mac's eye outside his window. It's now dusk. Beautiful, crisp, white snow is falling. It's the first snowfall of the year. Stella sees it too.

"Remember that day it was raining?" Stella asks referring to the day they were held hostage.

"Of course."

"Well, this time I think it's a good omen."

Mac agrees. They snuggle closer to each other; their warm bodies making the cold day complete. The snow would cover the earth, and by next spring the world would be brand new. A start to a new life. A brand new beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) I hope you liked this final chapter. I had to add the good omen part. And, yes, they'll be great parents. There WILL be a sequel, but it will be a long while from now. It will center around them getting married and adopting Beth. Please don't be mad at me for not getting it up any time soon. I promise I'll work on it in my spare time, but I don't know when that'll be. :) Hope you enjoyed it. There will be more to come, but like I said, it will be in a sequel. :D Thanks for everything; especially for sticking with me through this entire story. Love you guys for it. XD


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